DivorceCare on the SunPorch

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Unhelpful Advice

27 DivorceCare Experts to learn from

Unanswered Questions

Questions in a man’s mind

What is divorceCare?

My DivorceCare Story

MUSIC SUITABLE FOR PAIN

I would fall asleep to this program. Some of you may need it right now. Please go to this website then and pick from a list on the page.

http://www.nightsoundsradio.org/

Who should or could go to DivorceCare?

DivorceCare was not available when I went through my divorce at the tender age of 21 in 1974. My father who was a rather legalistic Christian perhaps, but living in the day "sin" was just not exceptable to be forgiven in cases of...'till death due us part". So he said that I was "taking a step towards Hell" (ie. disobeying God) I didn't want to get tangled in a conversation with him because I already felt guilty, bad, rejected by Christians, a misfit in the world because I really did want to please the LORD, but I cannot make the person I was married to, help me accomplish that. So I really felt like a huge failure. I didn't need any more shame to be loaded upon my back, so as it was, so I got out of his sight behind a closed door. I had moved home because I couldn't make it on my own at that time. Life is very very difficult. DivorceCare is a wonderful opportunity for any of you to bypass the years and years of struggle that I managed through mostly alone, talking with whomever listened and sometimes the advice was crappy. In a support group like this, there are 13 weeks of seminar speakers on videos covering subjects from emotional upheaval, depression, anger, finances, and when to consider new relationships a smart move. One can benefit from this fabulous support in this group before the divorce, during the separation and even after the Divorce. People can get healing and new perspective even after 25 years post divorce! I know a gal who understood her grown children better for seeing these videos and changed her ways for better as to how she treated her "X" in front of them. They noticed and were very pleased after years of the cold shoulder to their Dad. She became sordiul to ease the stress on her adult children. This group can also be helpful to those who have "Lived with" a significant other and who has been left, for somone other. Granted it wasn't a marriage but it still hurts the same maybe worse because you put all your eggs in that basket. These support groups are facilitated by people who understand your plight & pain. The only ones who might not might be pastors who are also allowed to facilitate a group. These groups are a mix of male and females usually. In the end, they find themselves to have been enlightened by the experiences of opposite sex. So guys, don't be scared!

Do you know what your ‘purpose’ on earth is? when you do you will find some peace.

Relationships are so very difficult. I suspect you know why. It is my observation that most humans are not very “real”.  I also observe that when we are young we have this tendency to look for the fairy tail relationship that will ‘make us happy’.
Have you watched people who are very quiet, you do not know what they are thinking, others always talk so “nice” & “polite”. Don’t be fooled by this, watch their actions especially under stress and difficulties and differences of opinions. How do they act then?

We can think that we are doing God’s bidding and get hooked right into a bad relationship for ignoring the walk in difficult times.

Life most certainly is difficult. I hate the pain with a passion that wants nothing but to escape it. Those of you going through this brutal loss of relationship are in such a vulnerable state. If we married thinking we were following God’s plan, there is no promise that this love will be of fairy tale kind. It wasn’t for me. Within a very short period of time all was lost.

The hellish pain set in. Oh the tears and prayers I cried, but restoration was not to be.  I was suddenly a failure at this most important relationship! I found myself being used so he could steal from a store a sizable charge and I knew then I had to protect myself and get out of this relationship!  Was this OK with God? My father didn’t think so. He found a moment to hit me with this from the church’s point of view. “You are taking a step towards Hell.” Well I felt like I was stopping the hell I was living in, the yoo-yoo world of he loves me… he loves me not!

I relay this information to you because as far as I know there was no such thing as DivorceCare. I love this program and facilitate it because those who get this support are BLESSED beyond what they will never know… and that is the loneliness I felt not being loved by the church nor by the world because I did want to be in the Army of God.

As I set about to re-order my life, it took me quite a while to figure things out! Agin, DivorceCare will point it all out, if you want to heal faster and find your purpose and get on track with Purpose. It is a life time till the end thing to do, whether you marry again or maybe not. But your need to be needed and to do , but for a right reason, is to be found in relationship with Jesus, following Him!

I warn you here and now. Understand and learn from the pain of divorce. This kind of pain will hit you time and again when in the Army of the Lord.

Now you might ask, Why?   Because the Enemy of our Souls that have been turned over to Jesus Christ who paid our freedom price with the sacrifice of his blood, (like as in the days before His life sacrificed,  birds, calves and sheep blood spilled paid the price of peoples sin to allow them to go the Heaven to be with God.)  does not want Jesus to have those souls forever in Heaven! Now ain’t that a shame that selfish thing!

The selfish cruel being will do everything in his power to hurt you, to hurt me, to make us suffer, all in hope of making us turn our backs on God, in some kind of disappointment, some kind of anger at God…  I have loved several animals and don’t you know my favorite is taken sick and the first to go from me… or killed in fire,  and Yes I am angry with God.. why could He not give me the miracle I ask for….why could He not heal my beloved pet?

So you must read the story of Job, either in the Bible or in a child’s story book. Job hung on the God even though his crappy friends said he must have sinned, and even though he became so uncomfortably sick that he sat in dirt scrapping itchy boils on his skin seeking relief from the itching and pain… Everyone of his kids cattle & homes lost, and then even the wife says, why don’t you curse God and just die!

 

So I warn you that is how bad it can get when you have chosen to follow the purposes of God for your life.

If you are seeking the face of God, via Jesus Christ with your actions, words, behavior, and your looks are pleasing to Him… Then NO ONE ELSE’S OPINION MATTERS! Do not be afraid of man, but of God who can stop your heart from beating!  ( Proverbs 29: 25)  ( Matt 10: 28 )    If your ear is pierced for Jesus, (Exodus 21: 6) then you were made for such a ‘time as this’, and God has a plan for you that should point to Himself in an honorable, loving, truthful way.  As an aside to your Souls spiritual growth, learn what real Love is. What does it really look like? How does it really act?  It was never about sex as the world would have you to believe, or as horney buys would have you believe when you were young and so you gave it to him in exchange for affection and now… you realize you probably never would have married each other if you had it to do over with a thinking mind again. Can you imagine saying to a buy then, What do you love about me? Why would you want to marry me? What kind of mature answers now would you expect? This is hard, because we all want to be loved or liked, not shunned because we won’t submit to a bullies ways. , or sleep around to be approved of.  As Christians we are always going up stream against the Flow of “natural man” i.e. the Fleshly man.
I know you may be  deep & drowning in the pains of divorce, I also know that God uses the devil’s works to bring us up short in front of Him, with an Opportunity to change our course in our short life’s stint here in human history, to give us a chance to be a walking  talking  testimony, of  and for Him, to share His Love for all of us! So as you consider re-purposing your life, I just wanted to prepare you.

This said, The Christian walk can be hellish. But I think it is better to take the short course in this life than the forever one, in the next.

DivorceCareontheSunPorch

DivorceCareontheSunPorch

DivorceCare Facilitator, Christian Lay Counselor, earned CE’s thru School of Hard Knocks.

DeEtta2007

DeEtta2007

I am the house-keeper, the painter, fixer, creator of projects, shopper, part carpenter, gardener, secretary, animal care-taker, etc., and my husband Rick is a Medical Code for Maine Line Health. We both now work at home. In Rick's work, he takes the treatment & the diagnosis, changing them from words to numbers for submission to your insurance companies. We have received Jesus into our lives and are committed to following His directions for our individual lives, as we go about to serve Him. I see myself a conduit of His Truth, His love, and compassion for all of us. Rick and I have been married 34 yrs although we were both married to other humans before we met each other! Marriage is not easy. We know and are together because we are committed to Obey Jesus. When one does this through the good the bad and the ugly, It all works out over the "years" (Not weeks, days, or always months!) A relationship works best when Jesus is at the Center and both serve Him FIRST and foremost, even before each other. I have been through the School of Hard Knocks over many years. I earned Certificate in Biblical Lay counseling so as to be sure that any thoughts or advice I might put forth would be healthy right from the root. I am the talkative one, Rick is the typical 1200 words per day male! We are said to make a good pair because of our differences, and we are extremely different. He is Mercy, I am a cattle prod and the Truthteller. We are happy to chat with anyone who wants to Grow Spiritually and Emotionally healthy and who is looking for Godly faith based direction. You are welcome to call, email reservation to come on out and join our fantastic Support Group, out on the Sunporch!

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SURVIVING the HOLIDAYS, yes we all have some plights we are in, with encouraging thoughts we can all get through seeing it pleasant retrospectively

SET TO BE SCHEDULED ON A THURSDAY EVENING IN NOVEMBERNovember 1, 2018
I know you all are dreading the Holidays because nothing is the same as it was, you are facing depression or some form of feeling hopeless, I am sure. I have. This one night showing is designed to give you another perspective in how to go about taking care of yourself at this holiday time. Come on, Let's think outside the box! What are some things you always wish you had a bit of time to do, but you can't seem to get to it? Something fun? Long Wood Gardens? Where are some special places you would like to taste something different? Do you want to be alone & on an outing? Is there a book you have wanted to read, and a special snack or treat or Tea to make the reading journey interesting? Is there someone else who lives alone that you could enjoy adding to your plans bringing a smile to both of your day. How can you go about making a new tradition or maybe more than one? It should be designed by YOU, for YOU, and the Lord too, perhaps to strengthen that relationship too. Do you like the old hymns? Do you like the old plays and those songs? Is there something you could dial up on Itunes to listen to for hours that doesn't even pertain to the holiday? Music that would lift your spirits? This is an opportunity to do a holiday the way you may have always wanted to but had to be sure it was agreeable with your spouse, now you don't! Come and get a new perspective from this video, bring your ideas and others will too, This night will be a contribution to a new start, a different way of viewing holidays maybe you like to cook or bake so have at it! Light the insence, a protected candle, turn the music on, or get a book on tape. This is an opportunity for you to be true to you! Happiness is a choice. So choose pleasure for you... & have a happy Thanksgiving, a calm Christmas & a renewed spirit for your New Year!

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Pages

  • Radio programs regarding narcissism….
  • Six healthy ways to be alone after heartbreak

Blogroll

  • 100 Cheap Hobbies-spent time not money YEAH, that works for Divorcing money pinching life-style Think you have to spend money to have fun? Think again. Different from the other sites, I could get into these myself-and quit spending! Rick would like that. 0
  • 23 MINUTES IN HELL by Bill Wiese (And we thought we were already there!) August 2013 publication An out of body experience, which even our Biblical Prophets , some, have experienced. Many more Biblical refrences to back up his first posted experiences. 0
  • 23 MINUTES in HELL March 9, 2007 early testimony description 1 of 8 parts Terrifying Testimony of a mans experience in hell. Bill Wiese 23 Minutes of Hell speaks about how Hell is located 3700 miles deep within the earth, near the earths core. Foul creatures dwell there. Their only purpose is to torment unbelievers and the unsa 0
  • 4TH STEP SELF INTROSPECTIVE INVENTORY “So when A.A. or someone else suggests a fearless moral inventory,… Pride says, “You need not pass this way,” and Fear says, “You dare not look!” 0
  • ABOUT BLOGGING ON THIS SITE- the Purpose and Goals 0
  • ANGER MANAGEMENT @ New Life.com Link This is America’s #1 Christian Counseling Ministry. Many of you are at work when this radio program is aired Nationally on many Christian radio stations from 1:00 to 2:00 the in the afternoon. 0
  • BEFORE HE CHEATS, Song by Carrie Underwood, (another video song for the anger-chuckle) Rose’s favorite song, in 2008 & 2009 0
  • CHARACTER DEFECTS & ASSETS: Checklist what CAN & CAN'T you live with You’ll note these Steps are directed toward an “alcoholic”. But consider what you use to dull your pain & fears; TV, Movies, Food, Shopping, a Job, Care-taking, inappropriate sex? 0
  • CHEATER, CHEATER Song (a video chuckle) Truth, you’ll Laugh or Cry!…a song submitted for chuckle by CharlesG2009 0
  • CHRISTIAN RADIO 560 AM Link Lots of good Teachers, and you can listen to New Life here at 1PM 0
  • Christian Volunteering Search over 10,000 volunteer opportunities See a video on this web site and multi fill in options to get the best option for you. 0
  • Don't You Worry Child, song submitted by MattR2013 It talks about at one time being on top – having “a golden thrown”, meeting the “a girl of a different kind”, being young and in love, and finally being heart broken. His father says not to worry, “heaven has a plan for you” despite all of that. My fath 0
  • EVERY MAN'S BATTLE- to Win the War on Sexual Tempatation Link Porn. Lust. Affairs. They’ve taken your life to a place you never could have imagined. It’s a serious problem that requires a serious solution. The Every Man’s Battle Workshop is the place where men engage in the battle to get back their sexual inte 0
  • FIND A DIVORCECARE GROUP Go to www.DivorceCare.org and put in your zip code to fins a group nearest you. They run two to three times per year. You will find it terribly scary to go alone the very first time, no matter where it is located, a home or church setting. But all leaders 0
  • GET WISDOM When the wise man says in Proverbs 4:5, “Get wisdom, get insight,” he does not mean, “Go to school, take more courses.” Proverbs 19:8 says, “He who gets wisdom loves himself.” In other words, do yourself a favor: Get wisdom! (Listen or Read, 0

Blogroll

  • 100 Cheap Hobbies-spent time not money YEAH, that works for Divorcing money pinching life-style
  • 23 MINUTES IN HELL by Bill Wiese (And we thought we were already there!) August 2013 publication
  • 23 MINUTES in HELL March 9, 2007 early testimony description 1 of 8 parts
  • 4TH STEP SELF INTROSPECTIVE INVENTORY
  • ABOUT BLOGGING ON THIS SITE-
  • ANGER MANAGEMENT @ New Life.com Link
  • BEFORE HE CHEATS, Song by Carrie Underwood, (another video song for the anger-chuckle)
  • CHARACTER DEFECTS & ASSETS: Checklist what CAN & CAN'T you live with
  • CHEATER, CHEATER Song (a video chuckle)
  • CHRISTIAN RADIO 560 AM Link
  • Christian Volunteering Search over 10,000 volunteer opportunities
  • Don't You Worry Child, song submitted by MattR2013
  • EVERY MAN'S BATTLE- to Win the War on Sexual Tempatation Link
  • FIND A DIVORCECARE GROUP
  • GET WISDOM
  • Go Tandem – focus on improvement in your spiritual life! Sign up here.
  • GOD TUBE
  • HOBBIES for MEN The Art of Maniliness
  • HOME OF THE SPARROW
  • HOPE FM RADIO Link: It will sooth your soul.
  • HOW KIDS SEE DIVORCE see Video one of our DivorceCare groups made
  • KLOVE a New-to-the-Area soothing Christian Music station you have got to try out!
  • NIGHT SOUNDS- A very kind soft spiritually encompassing cerebrally soothing soul half hour Music for listening late in the night radio shows, listen anytime.
  • OXYTOCIN, GET SOME AND PASS IT ON, IT IS HEALING BALM
  • Pennsylvania Volunteering for Teens
  • RESENTMENTS- Got any?
  • SELF ESTEEM TEST-on line
  • Think "You Can't Do This"? Some things last a Lifetime…..
  • Think Your Life is DIFFICULT?
  • Volunteering for Teens
  • VOLUNTEERING- one way to feel better about yourself is found in helping someone else. Just don't let it cover up you Self-work.
  • WHO IS TO BLAME?……
  • WORLD MAGAZINE News Christian Viewpoint Link, give your head a break from your troubles and see whats going on in the World
  • YOU VERSION BIBLE online daily reading variety devotion subjects, however, no margins to write in, no corners to bend, no Bible to carry & show what you are.

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NEW LIFE LIVE! Listen to hours of exchange between doctors & people with relational questions. Fabulous recommendations! http://newlife.com/broadcasts/show-notes#

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