The Two Wolves Within
An old Cherokee told his grandson
‘Two wolves rage within us,
One is Evil, it has many names:
Anger, envy, jealousy,
Sorrow, regret, greed,
Arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
Resentment, inferiority, lies,
False-pride, superiority and ego.
The other is Good, it has many hues:
Joy, peace, love, hope,
Serenity, humility, kindness,
Benevolence, empathy, generosity,
Truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought for a minute
And asked: ‘Which Wolf wins?’
The Cherokee simply replied:
‘The one you feed!’
Author: Zoya Zaidi
Aligarh (UP), India
Copyright©: Zoya Zaidi
A whimsical comment from a kind stranger, ‘Be sure to search for purple cows,’ brings hope to a woman and her children fleeing from a life filled with trouble. In A Search for Purple Cows, Susan Call reveals to the world how painful a relationship can be when love deteriorates into a cycle of abuse and betrayal. Her moving memoir chronicles how she first met her husband, a handsome, stylish, generous man with whom she worked. Eventually they fell in love, married, and had two children. Their life seemed idyllic — they had a beautiful home and everything a family could desire. But soon, inside those walls, Call was tormented by her husband’s alcoholism, domestic abuse, and infidelity that cast her family into a world fraught with fear and despair. God found her in the midst of her pain, and showed her, through the unlikely source of a Christian radio station, that a journey toward Him was possible even in the most unthinkable circumstances. Call eventually found the strength to move on and start anew. Written with candor and grace, A Search for Purple Cows will leave you laughing, crying, and believing that God is present and able, ready to bring hope and healing.
A woman’s response to “Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage”
What is depression? It is a normal natural response to loss. When you lose a personal relationship, this is as major a loss as you can have in life. Depression is the result! You can lose your home to fire and experience the very same depth of loss. The pain is the same! I know because I have experienced it. People and things we invest in, gone or taken from us are a loss. Our very Soul recoils in pain. Do not get down on yourself for this! Take care of your soul as you would your child…. Be gentle, it is on track towards healing.
Proverbs 13:12 says Hope deferred makes the heart grow sick.
Don’t believe those worthless “feelings”. In fact, Feelings lie at times! Some will tell you otherwise, but there is a difference between instinct or intuition, and “feelings”. You may feel that this will never end. But if you follow wisdom, you will heal and this too shall pass. One day you will look back and it will just be a ‘memory’. The feelings will have faded.
So, in seeking wisdom, read your book, do the homework, Center on Jesus, His plan, His love for us each as an individual. Take one day at a time, feel the pain, learn from it, if you are depressed more than four weeks and it is making you worse off, a bit of medication may be needed. It will not take away your pain or the feelings, but will buffer it so that you can manage your responsibilities a little better and “think” better.
Chart your feeling on a calendar or in your book. Watch The Lord act and orchestrate, in your life.
Jesus, be my Center. Amen
We have just begun Chapter 1 What is Happening to Me? Continue reading
Teresa LongNo Joe, God is not responsible for your failed marriage or mine. In His Word He said let what God has joined together let no man put under. God is a covenant maker not breaker. People break covenants. One party or both parties of a relationship made bad choices or let things creep in that started to slowly chip away at the marriage. I know personally You can trust God. I had to leave my home, some of my furniture. I had to start over and He has been there. You know as well as I do life as you know it can change in an instant. God is the constant. He never changes. He promises whatever satan has meant for harm God can turn it around for good. The Bible tells us it is satan who comes to kill, steal, and destroy. God came to give us life abundantly. I am now one year out and I am here to tell you God has healed me, restored me, set my feet in a new direction, helped me start over. Honestly, I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Be careful and don’t fall into the trap of woe is me. God gave us the freedom of choice. Choose to let God have it all. Every situation in life you can choose if it will be your tombstone or your stepping stone. Watch what God can do with your life!
Denise Marie NashI’m finding it hard to put away or down the pride and disappointment of changed circumstances when I can’t provide like I need and want to for my 3 kids. Struggling daily is so exhausting and stressful. Trying to stay focused on God and His provisions.It will be very easy to see sex as a quick fix for the kind of closeness that you want. But you will need to remind yourself that sex alone is not that, and it magnifies the pain of loneliness. It does not resolve it.
– Brad HambrickI am building a relationship with my Heavenly Father like I never dreamed possible. I have realized through all of this that I can talk real straight with God. I mean real straight, because He already knows who I am. He already knows the thoughts and the feelings that are in the deep recesses of my mind and my heart. Do you know what it feels like to be able to say, ‘God, I really hate my husband’s guts. And I hate his mistress. And I wish that his major body parts would fall off.’ To be able to speak that honestly with the One person that has the power to help me to grow beyond that.
– HarrietSometimes when you’re in that broken state, you need to position yourself [to accept help]. Let people love you. Let people minister to you. As time goes on, you’re certainly going to be able to find ways to reciprocate.
– Dr. Les CarterIt’s important to take time to face the pain of what you’re going through. If we don’t face the pain now, we begin the next season of our life built upon a lie.
– Brad Hambrick
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them . . .
We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21If you’re wishing for a change in another person, start by having compassion on that person. Consider God’s great compassion and love for you.The LORD has anointed me [Jesus] to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:1b-3a)If you’re wishing for a change in another person, start by having compassion on that person. Consider God’s great compassion and love for you.As I try to speak about my anger to the Lord, He already knows it. He’s not threatened by it, and He has a plan that can carry me away from it.
– Dr. Les Carter, DivorceCare expert, www.divorcecare.org/findagroupHealthy people live in reality . . . In order for your kids to have the best possible chance at a healthy life, they need to learn that things aren’t the same, things are different now, and we have to do things different now. And out of that kind of adversity, children build muscles in their character that they might not have built otherwise.
– Leslie VernickClaim Ephesians 6:10-11, 14: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. . . . Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)
I have to tell you how I love to see people grow! It just blesses my heart and gives me so much pleasure. Facilitating a group wayyyy out does the one-on-one counseling thing, because one could spend a years worth of time, seventeen years worth of time (some of you know what I am talking about), with one person and never see them grow,… or “get it”. But, in a group, the chances are far better that one or more people will break out of ‘bondage’ and take off in growth! That saying “No Pain No Gain” has a great deal of meaning and truth… and In a “group”, I see it and I am blessed every time! Thanks to all of you who have come in regular attendance, loyal to yourselves, in giving yourself what you needed, (the oxygen mask!) first in this matter of the heart and soul, so that you could be a better person in the future, making better choices from what you have learned!
Stars go on the mental pictured papers of Holly, Bill, Denise, Paula, Latoya, Donna, Lavon, Kelly, Lee ann…… you-all echo the lessons to one another now, teach each other,… sharpen and thus love one another… it is such a Beautiful thing! This is truly something worth calling “awesome”! I think Jesus smiles down at you-all in your struggles and thanks the Father for drawling you to Him, through your pain. We hate the pain, but look what it has opened up for you & is teaching you! I see freedom in your footsteps, I hear His love speaking out… Love for yourself and others in the group!
Feel free to use this slate to remind each other what you learned and to call the others to this place when the events unfold that remind you what you learned. Use this even as a spot to post your favorite lessons learned so that when the memory fades you can return to freshen it, and others who didn’t catch the class of teachings, can learn from your words here below;
Here is the web site address at DivorcCare web site, where you can sign up for daily emails. I believe, and correct me if I am wrong, there are 365 days of them and they will start you with day number 1 when you sign up. Just so you know, don’t expect anyone else to be reading what you got today! I call that rather “personalized”!
Did anyone do the assignment that asked what the picture on the front of your workbook says to you? It would be interesting to hear your thoughts now, because in about seven more weeks I will ask if your viewpoint has changed. Please tell us what it says to you and each person may have a different view…… would love it if you shared your thoughts from group for Matt!
Not a good day to ask me these questions…. I had a rough week, topped off with a rough weekend. I have hardly moved from the sofa last night or today. I bailed on church this morning. Just didn’t want to put on the “happy” face and pretent everything is ok. I didn’t have the energy. Having a very hard time shaking it all off. I go up and down. Tired of having no money, dealing with stress and life issues alone, and topped the weekend off by seeing “him” with “her” at his grandmother’s 90th birthday party. I was there to celebrate with Mammy and include my daughter in the celebration. But it was far from easy. And I just can’t seem to shake it since.
It’s only been 15 months and I can’t handle the loneliness… how am I going to feel in 2, 3, or 5 years. My college daughter went back to school last week after the Christmas vacation and my 16 year old is working every weekend. I am spending more time alone than I care for. I know I have lots of friends that always say.. .”just call. Your welcome any time”. I know they mean well, but I can’t spend my whole life hopping from one friend’s house to another. I need to accept that I am alone and learn how to deal with. Lord knows, I have enough housework and home “stuff” that needs to get done. I just can’t shake my depression some days and muster up the motivation to do anything. I am counting the days til Spring and the sunshine. I don’t think Winter helps me at all. Just another down period to get through… the up will come eventually. I can honestly say the good days were starting to out number the bad, but this week has made up for it I think.
In Memory of Kerry, may this Blog be a Comfort place for you to come, a place to air our private thoughts, in the safety of a ‘secure’ zone, a place to draw encouragement from, & if no one is home, a place to link to the same through nite sounds, and so on….