INTRODUCTION & CHAPTER 1 Date__________________
1 When you think of unsafe people you have had to deal with, who comes to mind?
~a romantic interest ~another
~a best friend ~a church acquaintance
~a co-worker ~a relative

CHARACTER DISCERNMENT: Who are the bad guys? (Is this judgmental?) After you have been hurt, you should become a relational CSI! (crime scene investigator)
~What Qualities might you be looking for in a potential mate? ___________________________________________
~Does your list contain character Issues?_____________________________________________________________
~ Look at List of complaints page 20 in book
~ What does God look at in people relationships?

-Isaiah 29:13___________________________________________________________________________

-Joshua 22:16 __________________________________________________________________________

-Deut. 8:14 _____________________________________________________________________________

-Psalm 36:2 ____________________________________________________________________________

-1 John 4:20 ____________________________________________________________________________

-Romans 2:1 ____________________________________________________________________________

~How often do you give a free pass to the successful, charming, humorous, educated, gifted, accomplished, talented, educated, pastors, elders, priests, doctors, professors, good looking, well dressed, etc.? Maybe even envy them?
What does God look at? See
1 Samuel 16:7_______________________________________
Matthew 23:25-28________________________________________

~God doesn’t use religious terms & language when he discusses people. He talks about how people treat him & others.
God looks at Character! We, as you have noticed, don’t get a lot of training in evaluating character. We instead choose
people based on their outward appearance (actions) and then later as we really get to know them, experience the inside of them.
1- Abandoner’s- Ephesians 3:17________________________________________________________
Abandoner’s destroy our trust,prefer shallow relationships, afraid of intimacy, they leave.

2- Critics- John 8: 1-11_______________________________________________________________ Say to you…If you are a Christian you should have your act together. See wrongs every where but within themselves.

3- Irresponsible s- pretty fun people to be with, but they don’t do what they say they will do, don’t take care of themselves, they are grown up children. You will pick up after them, apologize for them,make excuses for them, give them chance after chance, nag them & grow to resent them.

4-Controllers- violate your freedom, control with guilt, control with Anger and Force, Always tell others what they should do, want things to be only the way they like them, don’t allow others to be different from them, or compromise so both are happy. It is always their way, often the loud mouth, center of attention.
God created us for attachments: Lets look up …
-Genesis 2:18__________________________________________________________________________

– Matt. 15:8 ___________________________________________________________________________

-Matt. 13: 24-30 (mix in church)_________________________________________________

-Hebrews 5: (maturing)_________________________________________________________

-Proverbs 4:23 (your heart)______________________________________________________

What do you first look at in people you like?_____________________________________________
Maybe we would see better if our eyes were closed & we could listen?

1- How is your support system? Name them, _ are they safe?___________

2- Both parties need to “Receive and Give” fairly equally in relationship. True or False?

3- Hebrews 5:13 growing mature = senses trained________________________________________________________

4- Have you blamed yourself for relationship gone badly? If so, Why?__________________________
5- What have you heard friends complain about in relationships where they were hurt?_____________
6- When you’ve entered a relationship, what have you looked at 1st?___________________________
7- People in failing relationship are often their own coach, why don’t they ask for and take advice?____
8- If ‘good people’ had more knowledge, they could have seen the hurt coming! True or false?

9- Crazy makers talk you out of your beliefs, hurt you, poo poo your plans, tell you that you can’t achieve your goals. True or False?

10- Unsafe people will get you if you don’t recognize them. True or False?

11- Can you think of a time when the person you met was radically and painfully different inside from the outside of the person you first met.

List the positive outside Qualities_ List the painful inside ones_

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