Niceness Isn’t Always Nice


The price of always being nice …

1.     The “nice” person tends to create an atmosphere that keeps others from giving honest feedback.  This limits growth.

2.     The “nice” behavior leaves uncertainty in others in that they can not be sure of support in crisis situation that demand candor or in confrontation with others.

3.     “Nice” behavior stifles growth by depriving others level feedback and a “real” person to relate to.   This tends to force others to turn their aggression inward against themselves.  Guilt and depression can follow.

4.     The chronic “niceness” leaves others uncertain whether the relationship could withstand a conflict or sustain angry, spontaneous, confrontation.  Intimacy is limited by a felt need to be constantly on guard.

      5.      “Nice” guys are more subject to periodic rage explosions, which erupt                            unexpectedly when others are unprepared for it.

       6.     Physical ills can abound!

       Therefore, it’s not really nice to play nice!



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