Relationships are so very difficult. I suspect you know why. It is my observation that most humans are not very “real”. I also observe that when we are young we have this tendency to look for the fairy tail relationship that will ‘make us happy’.
Have you watched people who are very quiet, you do not know what they are thinking, others always talk so “nice” & “polite”. Don’t be fooled by this, watch their actions especially under stress and difficulties and differences of opinions. How do they act then?
We can think that we are doing God’s bidding and get hooked right into a bad relationship for ignoring the walk in difficult times.
Life most certainly is difficult. I hate the pain with a passion that wants nothing but to escape it. Those of you going through this brutal loss of relationship are in such a vulnerable state. If we married thinking we were following God’s plan, there is no promise that this love will be of fairy tale kind. It wasn’t for me. Within a very short period of time all was lost.
The hellish pain set in. Oh the tears and prayers I cried, but restoration was not to be. I was suddenly a failure at this most important relationship! I found myself being used so he could steal from a store a sizable charge and I knew then I had to protect myself and get out of this relationship! Was this OK with God? My father didn’t think so. He found a moment to hit me with this from the church’s point of view. “You are taking a step towards Hell.” Well I felt like I was stopping the hell I was living in, the yoo-yoo world of he loves me… he loves me not!
I relay this information to you because as far as I know there was no such thing as DivorceCare. I love this program and facilitate it because those who get this support are BLESSED beyond what they will never know… and that is the loneliness I felt not being loved by the church nor by the world because I did want to be in the Army of God.
As I set about to re-order my life, it took me quite a while to figure things out! Agin, DivorceCare will point it all out, if you want to heal faster and find your purpose and get on track with Purpose. It is a life time till the end thing to do, whether you marry again or maybe not. But your need to be needed and to do , but for a right reason, is to be found in relationship with Jesus, following Him!
I warn you here and now. Understand and learn from the pain of divorce. This kind of pain will hit you time and again when in the Army of the Lord.
Now you might ask, Why? Because the Enemy of our Souls that have been turned over to Jesus Christ who paid our freedom price with the sacrifice of his blood, (like as in the days before His life sacrificed, birds, calves and sheep blood spilled paid the price of peoples sin to allow them to go the Heaven to be with God.) does not want Jesus to have those souls forever in Heaven! Now ain’t that a shame that selfish thing!
The selfish cruel being will do everything in his power to hurt you, to hurt me, to make us suffer, all in hope of making us turn our backs on God, in some kind of disappointment, some kind of anger at God… I have loved several animals and don’t you know my favorite is taken sick and the first to go from me… or killed in fire, and Yes I am angry with God.. why could He not give me the miracle I ask for….why could He not heal my beloved pet?
So you must read the story of Job, either in the Bible or in a child’s story book. Job hung on the God even though his crappy friends said he must have sinned, and even though he became so uncomfortably sick that he sat in dirt scrapping itchy boils on his skin seeking relief from the itching and pain… Everyone of his kids cattle & homes lost, and then even the wife says, why don’t you curse God and just die!
So I warn you that is how bad it can get when you have chosen to follow the purposes of God for your life.
If you are seeking the face of God, via Jesus Christ with your actions, words, behavior, and your looks are pleasing to Him… Then NO ONE ELSE’S OPINION MATTERS! Do not be afraid of man, but of God who can stop your heart from beating! ( Proverbs 29: 25) ( Matt 10: 28 ) If your ear is pierced for Jesus, (Exodus 21: 6) then you were made for such a ‘time as this’, and God has a plan for you that should point to Himself in an honorable, loving, truthful way. As an aside to your Souls spiritual growth, learn what real Love is. What does it really look like? How does it really act? It was never about sex as the world would have you to believe, or as horney buys would have you believe when you were young and so you gave it to him in exchange for affection and now… you realize you probably never would have married each other if you had it to do over with a thinking mind again. Can you imagine saying to a buy then, What do you love about me? Why would you want to marry me? What kind of mature answers now would you expect? This is hard, because we all want to be loved or liked, not shunned because we won’t submit to a bullies ways. , or sleep around to be approved of. As Christians we are always going up stream against the Flow of “natural man” i.e. the Fleshly man.
I know you may be deep & drowning in the pains of divorce, I also know that God uses the devil’s works to bring us up short in front of Him, with an Opportunity to change our course in our short life’s stint here in human history, to give us a chance to be a walking talking testimony, of and for Him, to share His Love for all of us! So as you consider re-purposing your life, I just wanted to prepare you.
This said, The Christian walk can be hellish. But I think it is better to take the short course in this life than the forever one, in the next.
DivorceCare on the SunPorch 
The Enemy of our Soul is actively hosting his own party invite, served through temptation, to the humans of this World, to handle the Emotional pain other then the way Jesus did. This may help for a temporary moment. It is in fact “a” way to make loneliness go away. However, think about the ramifications. Solomon said, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise” (Proverb 20:1). Alcohol is killing relationships! Look around the group you know. Whose marriage is ruined because of the spirits in this stuff, that a spouse would prefer over their mate and children? So, will we tout its use in our own suffering?Furthermore, some of us are fighting this very demon ourselves, Do we lead them astray in their own battle against addiction? Wine, is not a ‘friend’. It may be a medicine, it may even be a tool to relax, just as sugar soothes my soul through cake and ice cream, its sweetness on my tongue…for me this is an addiction that throws me into a perpetual need for more until the day is done. This is not good for my temple, it is not good for me to turn to this idol, but I do…and I confess this to you, not as a flag for recognition of my pain, but an admission that I too choose the wrong thing. What did Jesus do in his hour of tremendous agony? He went into the garden, (a pleasant place) and prayed and talked and cried out to His Father for mercy, that this cup be taken from him, if it could be, but if not…. go on, read… Mark 14:34- Jesus says, … “My anguish is so great that I feel as if I’m dying…” What else in that ‘hour’ do you think He said to the Father? Let’s look at Matthew 26:39…“My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
This is the example Jesus set for us in which to deal with these our most painful issues. What was the Father’s answer to Jesus? What did Jesus do with God’s answer? Surely you know that Satan wants to take to his ultimate eternal unplanned goal, all that he can, He wants you to influence others for him, he wants Jesus to lose these He died for!
We all fail, pick yourself up and chose whose side you will be on, and walk in it. Know this: Somebody is watching your example, your testimony, and how you play out your part in the war. If you fail, right it and move on. Jesus “paid” the price for that sin. [ http://rcg.org/articles/wis.html ] God desires that we have no other “go-to” before Him. (Exodus 20:3) 3 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me. Another god is that which we turn to first before Him! People, I am guilty too of putting other gods before Him just like you, in the form of sugar. I will not offer this up to you as a “friend”, because it takes my eyes off of my Father God, and onto the solution I choose, as god. Lets turn to the Father and pray in the Name of Jesus, to the Father that He give us the strength to bear up under this horrible human, earthly pain we must bear. In Heaven there will be no more pain, Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever………
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