Online Divorcecare event “Surviving the Holidays” on Nov. 5th, 2020 Thursday nite 7-9 PM. Sign up!!

Welcome to DivorceCare! If you have never experienced this, you are in for a very good experience despite the pain, I promise. No one who has been through a whole course leaves feeling the same way they came in.
This will be ONLINE so you won’t have to wear a mask!
Are you dreading the upcoming Holidays?
I think we have some interesting ideas for you to get through them in a much different way than you may have thought you would after you put an idea or two into place. Come On then! JOIN US to watch, “SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS” for one night only. … Nov. 5th, 2020. That’s Thursday evening from 7 PM to 9 PM. right two days after the election. Surely you can’t forget now! This video will be followed up with a group discussion an opportunity to exchange ideas, ending with a prayer, and call it a night.
Then, consider staying with us for the next 13 weeks following as well.
There will also be a preview of things to come for which you will need a workbook to go… where you have never gone before! On a 13-week educational & supportive adventure! Unless of course, you have already been here before!

Sign up NOW! www.divorcecare.org zip code 19464, look for Pottstown Bible church for the connection to Divorcecare on the Sunporch-ONLINE
The date is only 12 days away, or less depending on when you find this, better yet, It’s starting two days after the election! That should help you remember!

Google this: "communication websites for divorced / divorcing parents", & end the pesky emails & calls catching you off guard! Here are some fantastic options. At what cost is some 'peace' & 'proof' worth to you?

Talking Parents | Co-Parenting Communication Tools

https://www.talkingparents.com/homeTalking Parents’ one-of-a-kind co-parenting communication tools maintain secure and unalterable communication records of all your co-parenting interactions.

5 Best Online Communication Tools for Co Parents

https://www.verywellfamily.com/best-online-communication-tools-for-co-parents-4080729Talking Parents is a different type of online communication tool for co-parents. It’s designed to create a system-of-record for all of your communications, in the event that either you or your ex need to supply proof of correspondence to the courts.

Divorce Communication Tools | OurFamilyWizard

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/divorce-communication-toolsDivorce communication tools are possibly the most effective and easiest to use in any divorce and custody case. An event like divorce has the potential to damage them mentally and emotionally for the rest of their lives. There are many tools available for divorcedparents to keep this threat on their children and themselves to a minimum.

8 Best Co-Parenting Apps to Download After Divorce | Parents

https://www.parents.com/parenting/best-co-parenting-apps/divorced couple created the OurFamilyWizard platform to help keep communication between co-parents as harmonious as possible. Each parent has their own account, and can then add as many third …

Parenting After Divorce With a Difficult Co-Parent …

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/parenting-after-divorce-with-a-difficult-co-parentOne such tool – the OurFamilyWizard website – works as a simple way for parents to boil all of their co-parenting communication down to one organized, well-documented location. Co-parents can condense all their shared calendaring, messaging, file sharing and expense tracking through OurFamilyWizard.

Techniques on Communication Skills for Divorced Parents …

https://oureverydaylife.com/techniques-communication-skills-divorced-parents-25686.htmlIn a pamphlet for separated or divorcedparents, the Massachusetts Association of Family and Conciliation Courts advises parents to decide the best way for communication to take place, how to avoid conflicts when dropping off or picking up children and to be flexible when plans need to be adjusted.

About Us | OurFamilyWizard

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/aboutThe OurFamilyWizard ® website is owned and operated by Avirat, Inc. Established in 2001, Avirat, Inc. develops and runs its flagship service, the OurFamilyWizard ® website. OFW ® offers web and mobile solutions for divorced or separated parents to communicate, reduce conflict, and reach resolutions on everyday co-parenting matters.

Co-Parenting Communication | OurFamilyWizard

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/categories/co-parenting-communicationCo-Parenting Communication Healthy communication between co-parents is a key element of successful shared parenting. Learn about positive communication strategies, pitfalls to overcome, and more about co-parenting communication.

Successful Co-Parenting Communication after Divorce …

https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/co-parenting-communicationEffective parenting after divorce requires effective communication – both between the co-parents and between the parents and children. Even if they don’t like each other, or disagree on many issues, divorcedparents still have to work together as a team as far as their children are concerned.More Results

Ways to Respond When "X" Bad Mouths You

10 Ways To Respond When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You — That Won’t Land You In Jail!

August 31, 2017 https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/divorce-family-law/bad-mouthing-ex/

bad mouthing ex

Do you have an ex whose favorite pastime is bad-mouthing you? Take the high road!

Although most divorced people occasionally say something less than kind about their former spouse, some turn ex-bashing into an Olympic event. These are usually high-conflict individuals (HCIs) who defend against the pain of divorce by blaming their ex for everything. HCIs have distorted ways of thinking, and cannot see their part in problems. They need a target, and if you’re their ex, that’s you! Don’t expect them to ever change their behavior, and do develop strategies for deflecting their drama.

  • Don’t defend yourself. When someone twists reality to spin outrageous, inflammatory tales about you, it’s natural to want to defend yourself. Resist the urge! You will just give your ex another opportunity to climb onto his or her self-righteous pedestal and tell you 97 more terrible things about yourself. Yes, your ex’s slanderous statements are hurtful, but they are distortions. The next time you’re tempted to defend yourself, repeat this mantra: “What my ex thinks about me is none of my business.”
  • Use disarming statements. Politely decline your ex’s invitation to a verbal or email/text bloodbath by using disarming statements: “you may be right;” “I’ll think about that;” “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Your ex is expecting you to get upset. Responding in a calm, non-reactive fashion may seem like you’re “giving in,” but the opposite is true. You’re not agreeing with your ex; you’re taking your power back by ending a fight.
  • Don’t match your ex’s intensity. Imagine that your ex is a toddler having a tantrum. What’s the best way to handle that situation? By having your own tantrum? Or remaining calm and setting limits? You don’t have to respond to every hostile text, email, or voice mail. Or, you can choose to respond by stating: “It sounds like you’re upset. I don’t think we’re going to have a productive conversation right now. When you’re done being angry, I’ll be happy to discuss this.” If your ex counters by slinging more barbs, hold your boundaries and don’t respond.

There are some situations where you may need to confront the bad-mouthing: your child’s school staff or doctors have been told you don’t have custody, and other parents are declining playdate invitations because they’ve been told you’re evil. Here are some sane ways to address the crazy.

  • Don’t counter-attack your ex. Launching into an emotionally charged, detailed explanation of why your ex is actually the crazy one will confuse people, confirm their misguided notions about you, or make them feel pressured into choosing sides. Don’t do this!
  • Present your side of the story calmly and factually. Pretend you’re a reporter; address the bad-mouthing by delivering facts to the contrary. If your ex has told school staff that you’re an unfit parent who lost child custody, show them the custody agreement. Give your contact info to medical staff so they know you exist and are an involved parent. Without going into a lot of details, tell parents of your child’s friends that your ex’s allegations are distorted or untrue and you’re sorry they’re being exposed to drama. Urge people to contact you directly if they have a question or concerns.
  • Don’t get emotional. It’s natural to feel angry and upset when people say bad things about us. But if you comer across as volatile or capable of whatever your ex is saying about you, then people may believe what they’ve heard. You can’t control what others think, but you can control your own behaviors.
  • Detach. Your ex’s comments and others’ faulty beliefs have nothing to do with your worth. They may not even have much to do with reality. Hitching your self-esteem to other people’s transient opinions will just make you miserable. Focus on being the best person you can be and let go of the need for approval.

Talking To Your Kids

If your children have bought into your ex’s propaganda, you need to address it. Pretending everything is fine is like pretending the elephant in the room isn’t really there. Your ex is attempting to damage your children’s relationship with you, and their ability to think critically. While you cannot stop your ex, you can do things to present your side of the story.

  • Acknowledge the bad-mouthing. Name bad-mouthing as a problem but don’t respond with your own bad-mouthing, i.e., “your father’s a nightmare and is out for revenge.” Instead, acknowledge that your ex says bad things about you and focus on the impact on your kids: “What you’ve heard may have scared you, or made you angry.”
  • Confront distortions with facts. Contrary to popular divorce wisdom, saying nothing won’t make the problem go away. Your ex is emotionally abusing your children by trying to damage their bond with you. The antidote to gas-lighting is presenting facts. For instance: “I arrived for visitation, but you weren’t there. I texted and called your mother, but she didn’t respond. If there’s an emergency and I’m not able to see you, I will always let you know and tell you when the next visit will be.”
  • Teach your children self-agency. Your ex is trying to control what your kids think, so give them permission to think for themselves. Tell them to talk to you directly if they have concerns about you. Don’t pressure them to believe your side of the story; instead, let them know they have a right to their own feelings and opinions. Not only are you teaching your kids how to think independently, but you are also showing them that you’re safe to talk to.

Remember: what your ex says is a reflection of them, not you. You can choose not to take it personally. The best way to respond to bad-mouthing is to behave in ways that make you feel good about yourself.

What about legal aspects related to bashing from your ex? How might this affect custody or divorce negotiations? Get answers to your questions by making a free appointment with one of our skilled family law attorneys. Please contact us or call today: (888) 888-0919. 

Other readers recommend:

What was the Premise of the Relationship with your X spouse?

I have been thinking about this subject that keeps coming up in my brain again and again! How in the world did we come to pick the “jerk” we did obviously marry who clearly didn’t take those vows very seriously? Today I am glad that the one I did, didn’t and left, because I was young naive, needy of love and healing from a very dysfunctional family environment imprinted on my soul which set me up to make numerous bad choices including ‘my pick’ then for a marital relationship! I am in a far better situation now for having lost that marriage despite how painful that was than I would have been had it of ‘stuck’, I am very sure!

Of all the things we learned in church or school, why didn’t we learn how to consider a partner for life? Why didn’t we learn how to get to know people and get to learn to know ourselves? What in the world helped us formulate what a ”love” relationship looked like and functioned like? What did we look at in the opposite sex, that attracted us? Were we supposed to repeat our parents’ example? Did you? What were our influences? Feel free to write your thoughts or preconceived notions about your younger view of a life-time love.

If you have an answer… stop here and write it in comments. otherwise, if you read on, I want to warn you of a ‘spoiler alert’ now! I will write what I think had a great influence in my world & I suspect many others as well, perhaps subconsciously if not knowingly! So here it goes. Since leaving it open for someone to use their own original thoughts.. and no one responded. I shall point to what I think influenced us. I think each generation will have its own influences, mind you, but I suspect the resources will be similar? When I was a child, I was influenced by fairy tales! Then as I aged I saw sweet home stories like Father knows best, Laura Engels Wilder, the Waltons maybe a movie or romantic play like Climb Every Mountain! Last but not in-the-least, I heard many “love” songs on the radio as I worked outside, or drove about in my driving days, the tear-jerking heart forlorn whining country love songs tears on my pillow.. as well as influenced by many teenage love songs written by teens no less! Oh my, love? What was it? Broken hearts, love lavished upon another with no needs for the ‘self’? Now I would speculate it was more like infatuation with a thrilling feeling that someone else found us even a little bit interesting, handsome, or ‘cute’! No wonder we had bad outcomes with the influence of such dysfunctional thinking relationship values pummeling our minds! Do you remember any of these lyrics?……”Can’t liveif living is without you, can’t live… can’t live anymore……….. “I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around,”…” I wanna hold your hand, I wanna hold your hand”….” and when I’m with you I feel happy inside,”……… “kiss me, kiss me, then I’ll know that you are gonna miss me, kiss me”,…………”your love keeps lifting me higher…. than I have ever been lifted before”…….. and we bought it, well some of us did! We look about for someone who will hold us thrill us love us to make us feel alive, …. loved…. important to someone…. not realizing that youth is oh naive, so selfish, self-centered, me-centered, immature, ( we think we know it all!) with our sights set on some goal, please meet my need to be somebody… somebody important to you… just as the love songs say………………….. and then after hooked by a “need” that really isn’t “love” but a form of dysfunction, an unbalanced relationship,… one in that often the “giver”, in order to get, will pick the person hooked into “needing” their presence. Perhaps the other having a different need, perhaps sexual in nature and thus becoming hooked out of sexual closeness instead, thus each getting a “need” met, but it’s without the understanding of real sacrificial love, without an understanding of what it is they have happened into, all too often without intelligent decisions, self-knowledge, and purpose! Who are you? What is your purpose in life? How does this mesh with the person with whom we have started a self-gratifying relationship with? What about the encouragement of each other’s goals, without what’s in it for us, what about simple honor of one another’s differences without name-calling or put-downs, do we touch one another when they are hurting, with a bit of kindness in words or action as needed, Is there a balance of give and take in the relationship? How many of us did a ‘study’ on love? Not many if any of us who have ended up in divorce! I HAVE looked into it pretty deeply since my divorce, to be sure and not have this happen to me again! I was not desiring to go through that kind of hell again! Does any of this ring a bell for anyone? Feel free to write on this page! Go ahead… Just don’t get angry with me if I struck a nerve! Most of those “love songs” were so stupid! This is why I added this web page find under…”Sacrificed 4 (the reason of) selfishness”! ……….Thoughts?……..

What is January teaching you? From Bloglovin

Your circle should want you to win. Your circle should clap the loudest when you have good news. If they don’t, get a new circle.” || Kristen shared this yesterday and hot dang, she’s right. But I want to say something about this: We aren’t all blessed with a great circle all the time. Two things: One, make sure you’re being someone you’d want in your own circle. And two: No circle is better than a crappy circle. If you’re circle has to be just you and your dog for a little bit, that’s okay! And it’s better than filling your life with people who aren’t cheering you on. Value yourself enough to shrink your circle when you need to. 
A bad hour doesn’t have to mean a bad day, a bad day doesn’t have to mean a bad week, a bad week doesn’t have to mean a bad month. ||
 Things can (and usually will) get better. Don’t mentally throw the whole month out over a bad day. 
Good childcare is worth every penny. || Jack’s nanny is a freaking gem. He loves her, she loves him, I no longer feel like the worst when I pull out of the driveway, and I know he’s safe the entire time I’m gone. This month especially, she’s been a lifesaver. She costs a lot more than I was paying before her, but I am not exaggerating when I say I would eat PB&J every night before I let her go. If you have a kid, I know how stressful childcare can be…but trust me, people like that are out there! Keep trying! 
I can never live up north. || It has been cold (I mean, Florida cold, but still – cold) and I HATE IT. Not that I was planning on jetting off to live somewhere cold anytime soon, but still, good to know. It ain’t for me. 
There is a direct correlation in the media I consume and the way I feel. || I feel like this is pretty much a “duh” kind of thing, but I paid extra attention to it this month. The days I listened to empowering podcasts and positive music were much better days for me. 
Time spent with people I love is always going to be my love language & always going to be worth any effort it takes. || Today, I’m hanging out with one of my best friends. In order to make this happen, we had to plan literal months in advance, she had to take the day off of work, and I have to pay someone to watch Jack. WORTH EVERY STINKIN’ BIT. 
Two things I heard this month that really struck a chord with me: 
“Givers have to set boundaries, because takers rarely will.” -my friend Joey 
“Just a reminder that Mary Oliver’s answer to her question, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” was to stroll idly through fields noting things. The question out of context could appear to be about achieving more – it’s not.” -Jessica Faith Kantrowitz
 
What is January teaching you? 

DivorceCare is beginning …

Again, in Pottstown on the SunPorch, Thursday February 7th 2019 7-9 PM

We are starting with seminar Video #1 “What is happening to me?”

If you are separated, divorcing, divorced or even been divorced quite a few

years but still feel a bit of pain or there are issues between you and the kids,

there is still maybe something within that needs to be healed…? Maybe it is

worth your investment to come and glean whatever you can for yourself.

Interested? Then call me or email and sign up! The only cost o you is a

workbook for $20.00.

Phone: 610-334-6946

email: luvcuddlecats@verizon.net

for extra insights see: https://www.facebook.com/Sunporchchat/

Pardon me folks, but I must speak off topic tonight. I won’t make a habit of it…

This speaker in video is a guy named Kevin, I heard him as I sat listening to you tube political videos…… He calls his regular videos, Kevin’s Corner. Take a listen to what he has to say about what all is going on in the general popular media today. (CNN types)
He is spot on & has more details that he has astutely picked out & explained than I could even begin to tell!  I like it when I find that I agree with wise people.
He sees the game plan in politics here in the USA and that is just what it is, a mind game that CNN, the View, and every other media outlet & so-called journalist that sounds even remotely like them, are spewing sewage into the minds of all of you who watch, listen to,  believe and repeat them to another soul, in belief that this rhetoric is true! It is poison to your soul.
I am so dismayed and frustrated by this unrelenting continuous evil that I can now see how easily the Biblical book of Revelations will easily come true. Easily.
my piano teacher once said to me, “the masses are asses”. Oh Lord my God, it is so terribly true. God says that the gate through which we seek to enter to heaven is “Narrow”,
but the road to Hell is wide and many enter through it. (Matthew 7: 13-14) I used to think, oh but how could so many buy into that stuff…. but I see it now, even in people who I talk to,
who refuse to have a civil discussion about the state of our society, who don’t care, who for some petty, (yes petty) reason dislike President Trump because….. what about the things
people don’t like about you but are still your friend anyway! I digress… if you are not checking out deeply why your opposition is in opposition… then you are just “blind” to “truth” and
could care less about seeking it. And if that’s the case, then there is not much use in casting pearls before swine! (Matthew 6:7)

Hope for the Heart with June Hunt https://partner.hopefortheheart.org/ providing Biblical Counseling

DivorceCare on the SunPorch

Image result for june hunt        This page has a long list of information. Keep scrolling or go to web site as provided above!  

Hope For The Heart Bible Study Series

Find hope. Find answers.
Find God in the storm.

Full of engaging stories, biblical teaching and practical questions for personal application and group discussion, these six new Bible studies will help you overcome everyday challenges.


These topical Bible studies contain six sessions per study. They are interactive, easy to follow and great for personal or small group study. Each includes tips for leading a group, space for journaling and practical steps for daily living.

Discover what God says about some of life’s toughest challenges.

Hope For The Heart
Broadcast Audio

Hope For The Heart Broadcast AudioOur audio broadcast from the award winning radio program, Hope For The Heart with June…

View original post 417 more words

Hope for the Heart with June Hunt https://partner.hopefortheheart.org/ providing Biblical Counseling

Image result for june hunt        This page has a long list of information. Keep scrolling or go to web site as provided above!  

Hope For The Heart Bible Study Series

Find hope. Find answers.
Find God in the storm.

Full of engaging stories, biblical teaching and practical questions for personal application and group discussion, these six new Bible studies will help you overcome everyday challenges.


These topical Bible studies contain six sessions per study. They are interactive, easy to follow and great for personal or small group study. Each includes tips for leading a group, space for journaling and practical steps for daily living.

Discover what God says about some of life’s toughest challenges.

Hope For The Heart
Broadcast Audio

Hope For The Heart Broadcast AudioOur audio broadcast from the award winning radio program, Hope For The Heart with June Hunt, will provide you with biblical hope and practical help while empowering you to disciple others. Listen as June walks you through what the Bible says about more than 100 topics, learn what God’s word says about issues that impact people every day. Use this resource in addition to other Hope For The Heart products available for you to study on your own, with a group or to add to your church library.

Special audio broadcasts include:

• “9/11” Hope in Times of Terror
• The Journey Through DID – Dissociative Identity Disorder
• Healing the Hurting Heart
• Home Run for the New Believer
• Homosexual … No More! (Volume 1)
• Homosexual … No More! (Volume 2)

You may also be interested in June Hunt’s Music CDs.


Hope For The Heart Broadcast Audio(Are you looking to purchase 30 or more of our audio broadcasts today? Consider buying our “ALLCDS” package which includes all 100 of our Hope For The Heartbroadcasts. Click here for more information).

Additional available audio broadcasts topics:

 

Image result for june huntImage result for june huntImage result for june hunt
June Hunt
Author
June Hunt is Founder and CSO of Hope for the Heart, the nonprofit Christian ministry she founded in 1986. Wikipedia
BornDecember 31, 1944 (age 73 years), Dallas, TX

 

A touching Word from the Lord today, and requested it shared.., from Jim Y., to present group & everyone else it speaks to!

Hi all. I felt lead to share this with you guys. Also if anyone has James’s and Paul’s (or the Ladies) numbers feel free to share with them.

So Jake and I went to our old church (LCBC – Harleysville). And below is one of the Scriptures they cited to describe what it looks like to walk with the spirit and without the spirit. It is rare for them to use the message version of the Bible but I believe today this translation spoke not only to myself, but to my son.

“It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God’s kingdom.

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:19-23‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Do you know what DivorceCare Support Groups are about? Now you can!

https://www.facebook.com/Sunporchchat/posts/1747207635346919 How many people do you know who are going through a divorce? How many of you really know what ‘they’ need to hear? How many of you know exactly what to say? The ‘wise’ people will tell them…. “Run just as fast as you can to the nearest open running divorcecare group!” It does not matter if they come on the last night or the first night because most would benefit for remaining in this group, cycling through it several times until they are fairly well grounded and healed! Now I warn you, people who are hurting want to go and hibernate in a squirrel hole somewhere… that may be OK rather than going to a dance party! However, in this group they will find validation, others suffering the same internal pain, and lots of valuable information from fantastic speakers on the seminar videos, encouragement and prayers & answers to prayers! A once local counselor, Leslie Vernick is on these videos adding good words of wisdom. A bottle of clear water looks drinkable until it is shook and the dirt in the bottom is stirred up! There are well known teachers, preachers, psychologists, psychiatrists, and alumni of previous Divorcecare groups from years ago, now healed and living out different lives that are filled with hope, peace, and joy. We have come to see in many cases that God allows hurtful things to come into our lives, because that is when He has our full attention.

Image may contain: tree, outdoor and nature
DivorceCareonthesunporch Chat Share ExchangeLike Page

Published by DeEtta Lerch · February 14 · 

THE WORKBOOK LOOKS LIKE THIS BELOW & only costs $20.00 to use forever.
Table of Contents in Workbook:

SESSION 1 WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?
SESSION 2 THE ROAD TO HEALING / FINDING HELP
SESSION 3 FACING MY ANGER
SESSION 4 FACING MY DEPRESSION
SESSION 5 FACING MY LONELINESS
SESSION 6 WHAT DOES THE OWNERS MANUAL SAY
SESSION 7 NEW RELATIONSHIPS
SESSION 8 FINANCIAL SURVIVAL
SESSION 9 KIDCARE ( BUT MY kids ARE ADULTS!) Yes but,… COME
ANYWAY, THEY ARE STILL YOUR KIDS & AFFECTED)
SESSION 10 SINGLE SEXUALITY
SESSION 11 FORGIVENESS
SESSION 12 RECONCILIATION
SESSION 13 MOVING ON, GROWING CLOSER TO GOD.

Update on the situation for AMY’S Heart

From her:   “Got the call from Temple’s Transplant team today. They are putting together a testing schedule for me. First all the tests, then it goes to a committee for approval. ( I feel like i’m on American Idol haha)
Need a support person with me at each visit. And a lot of the testing will be in Philadelphia. (Open up your couch Stacey I’m camping out.
In addition, I have to make Dentist appointment, OBGYN appointment, Vision appointment, Nephrology appointment ugh!”

Thank you for your prayers for her situation. I can imagine some of you saying… wish He would answer some of my prayers as fast as that…..  Am I right? Hey I have thought like such myself, -get Real!  Jesus wants us to be loving… thus be happy for her.. not envious or jealous. We have no idea who watches our walk and wonders why we continue to believe as the Enemy continues to throw muck at us. Never forget Job and he had no idea of the conversation between satan and the Lord God! His life was rewarded for trusting God through it all.  Time here is very short even though we suffer much at times. Remember this, Eternity, where the promise told is that there will be no more tears, no more emotional or physical pain or loneliness,  time here, in retrospect from there, will then even more so be a vapor of remembrance. Better to suffer here, for choosing “RIGHTNESS” regardless rejection, regardless doing without, regardless the desire to hurt those who hurt us, if we be a testimony that brings onboard someone else, heaven will be a very fine reward….,  far better than spent in hell for reason of making our “self” come first in the place of God,  forever,……………………………. Yes?

 

It is scary..thursday 3/15 715am. My heart stopped. When reality hits. I would not be here right now without my icd (jump starts her heart) need prayer for a heart to transplant.

To all my faith believing friends: Amy Voshell Snider is an alumni of DivorceCare back around 2008 or 2009. I know Rose Reigner and Kim Colletti would know Amy I am sure. She is newly married in the past year I believe to the “perfect” man! Thats what she says, I am telling you! Wouldn’t it be interesting to meet him /them! I don’t know how public her FB page is but she needs prayer as often as the Holy Spirit brings her to your mind. She is laying in the hospital, I believe waiting for a heart for transplant. Her heart is stopping completely these days and something similar to a pacemaker starts it up again. Without this, her new husband would be with out her. Praise God for the miracles of science in medicine today or she wouldn’t be even on a waiting list. Somewhere we hope that if its in Gods plan for someone else to graduate to heaven, who days are slso numbered soon to be leaving this time on earth, that maybe the heart will be the right fit for Amy. She requests prayer. I am sure she would appreciate a reach out to her from some of you who remember her as well. I know that

This Word about numbered days is found in Job 14:5-7. A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set. So now look away from him that he may.

psalm 39:4-13. 4 “ LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is.5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Interlude 6 We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. 7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. 8 Rescue me from my rebellion. Do not let fools mock me. 9 I am silent before you; I won’t say a word, for my punishment is from you. 10 But please stop striking me! I am exhausted by the blows from your hand. 11 When you discipline us for our sins, you consume like a moth what is precious to us. Each of us is but a breath. Interlude 12 Hear my prayer, O LORD ! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears. For I am your guest— a traveler passing through, as my ancestors were before me. 13 Leave me alone so I can smile again before I am gone and exist no more.

An invitation to support “$Love Costs Money$”

logo-email-v5@2x.png
DeEtta would like you to support
$Love Costs Money$
by making a donation and helping spread the word.
27644212_1518286767.4139.jpg
Monday night 1/22/18 I called my vet and made the appt. I cried all day. I knew Samson was so miserable. He had let me know like two weeks ago he couldn’t go on.
I extended his life took him to University of Penn to learn the virus destroyed bone in his sinuses and had finally lead to nasal bone lymphoma that had spread to his liver, spleen and was affecting other things. (To learn this we are in debt to the tune of 7 grande, can you imagine? Pray for us on that bill to pay ) I have cried off & on since, almost hysterical because he was so sweet, so communicative so affectionate so intelligent smarter than all the others…

I told him throughout the day I was taking him to the Vet tonight, and I was going to set him free of his misery and pain.
He came to my chair at work desk around 5:30 pm looking like he might want to come up on my lap. I brought him up he jumped down, so I just reached and petted his soft haired head. GavinLaRue came over and licked him a bit. When it was time to leave I put him in a high walled bed and carried him to the car.

In the car he started purring and rubbing his face on my neck and face and hands. The whole drive he did this n in the office he did this. I think he knew this was goodbye? They put us in a room alone with him. He would stand up n head butt Ricks face then back to me the whole 15 min till vet came in.

She stooped down on her haunches and said there were a couple ways she could do this No on ever have me this choice before. She gave him an IM injection that fairly slowly put him to sleep while I held him. But he was still breathing and I still petting and holding him. When his tongue was sticking out eyes open, she said he might be like in dentist chair drugged can hear but don’t care.

I didn’t want to be there for the last deadly needle so she took him lie handing over a towel with outstretched baby on it and left to take him to another room while we went to the car. It hurts so-very very bad. I want to awaken from this nightmare. But I know I will not.
He is gone.. freed from the pain in his facial bones his body from misery of the virus & lastly the the lymphoma.
Here is my story,… the history to this painful night.

I was looking for a kitten, I like long hair, reached into the pet shop window box and touched the back of this tiny mite, the purr rang up out of this little thing and he raised his back for more, more more… I had to have him!

I brought him home in 2002. He was a character! A little terror at times as he teased and corner Silka in a litter box! At other times as I sat at the kitten table working on a project, he would come to my chair and let out a little cry for help up, I reached my hand down and he would clmib into my palm and wrap his upper paws around my wrist holding on tight as I lifted him up. He would nestle in for a love session until curiosity took him elsewhere.

I had a work table near my kitchen sink. It wasn’t too much of a jump for him and the first time he did it he gave me quite a fright as he leaped from the table to my shoulders, swaggered himself around into a comfortable shawl around my neck, with rear paws over the left shoulder, one to the back and one to the front, his face snuggling up to mine on the other side, breathing sniffing and purring, all at the same time.

He was the smartest kitty in the house! There came a time over the years that I needed to put the food away behind cabinet doors. He figured that right out. All he had to do was stand on his hind feet and curl two little furry paws around the handle and pull! His eight little pounds were just enough to make that door give. Of course if the door was open, this meant that Samson ate for sure, and probably some that should have only eaten their speciality diet instead.

In the fall of 2014 he got sick with some sort of sinus infection. He was about 13 years old then. I took him to the vet and they gave him antibiotics, not a big deal. Only,… he got sick again in about two months. And back I went. This became the continum. Why, I wonder aloud to the vet. “Ah, more than likely he has the herpes virus.” he said. He shrugged his shoulders with a communication about for his age he has lived a good life and it won’t be so long till he’s dead, after all he is thirteen. I could not afford the test. Not all of us who love animals, actually have the money to afford it. But that dosesn’t stop us, does it?

I took him to another Vet. She was willing to help me fight for his little sweet life. He was such a very good little patient. tolerant of the doctors pokes and probes and needles. I on the other hand, I took to the internet.
I went hunting for anything and everything to help him fight. I even asked the pastor at our that time church to pray for him, after all, God made this sweet little creature. I was always doing what I could to make life better for him. I put normal saline drops up his nose to help keep it wet enough to blow out the mucus. He learned to “blow” when I told him to, I said it so often!
Sometimes at 3Am in the night when he could hadrly breath he would come wake me for a couple of drops, by standing on my chest, turning around laying down, stand up and do it all over again. I kept saline drops at the bedside.

By Spring 2017, things were getting worse. It was time my vet said to get him a rhinoscopy. How much does that cost? $2500.00! I cannot believe my own ears. Since when did medicine for animal cost as much as it does for humans? All I could do was keep putting charges on the “cards”. I was always asking for antibiotics, or more prednisone, I was ordering Famciclovir which is not cheap, Anything I could learn of to help his immune system fight, anything to keep his from going to a wall and laying there unsocial and in misery. We learned it was the Calicivirus and some other germ. Agin, back to the interent.

I bought higher protein foods, liquid vitamis, gave him L-lysine , Vit C, even some of the homeyopathic stuffs like Colloid Silver, Aloe Juice, someone said it fights cancer, …… In the fall of 2017 he had some really good weeks finally. I took him on vacations with us to be sure he got what he needed. I felt all the vitamins were helping. Then he started bleedling from the nose, and getting swollen places on his face. A different antibiotic would throw out the ous and take the swelling down. It was very irritating to have various vets at these 24/7 places touch his face and say, oh that feels like tumor.. despite my telling them, “tumors don’t go back down to normal after giving antibiotic”. But some of them you cannot tell them anything.. and they weren’t there after the treatment to see what I mean, nor were they likey to believe the photographs I showed them.

Novemebr 2017 he was doing so well I thoughtI would try to wean him off the predisolone. Maybe this was the worse thing to do but he got sick within two weeks sick like never before. I return to a 24/7 vet hospital place, because don’t these things always happen when your vet cannot be there, its the weekend. The female who was on that night was for some reason a bitch! All I wanted was for someone to help him feel better. Help him breath better, help him be rehydrated. It seems her ego was totally threatened by the fact I knew so much about his illness that I was switching his antibiotics, I was determining for him what he needed or what wasn’t working. She didn’t think that after treating and caring and searching and seeking over 27 months, I actully might know something? How dare I not being a vet be determining these things? With her arms crossed in a haughty manner she said, So what can I do for you?
I said, well I think he is dehydrated, he isn’t eating and he isnt drinking, and he is hanging out by the stove. well I can do that for you she said smartly.
I added, his face is beginning to swell. She touched his face gently, Well looks like tumor to me……. You need to make an appointment in the morning with the pulmonary doctor you have seen before. I said, well I tried to today, but (on a wednesday) they told me that the software is down and that they would call me on Monday to make an appointment. To this she had nothing to say. I knew if I didn’t do something different he wasn’t even going to make it till Monday if there was help for him.

Sure enough the next day his nose started bleeding again. He was looking quite miserable. I called around trying to find the best way to go for him. Someone to,d me to take him down to the University of Penn. They are the best around.

That they are….. they are tried to do “a diagnostic workup”.. after all they are doctors still in school but high up the ladder. I was too tired mentally to take charge, to see to it that they only did what was necessary, for him. One of the sweet doctors there told me , “You have taken very good care of him.” I am still not sure what she meant, was it length of life? His appearance? .. (It took me half an hour a day to prepare his vitamins crush, put in a sweet high cal mix, clean his nose, and sweet talk him, and eye dropped into the side of his mouth, right down to his favorite part.. giving him some-make-him handsome-again-brushin. If he got to far out of my reach, I would say… come back here if you want more brushin…. and he would come back around for another stand still sweep. Now and again I got a little head butt in the knee, I guess expressing some appreciation yet for me despite the yucky tasting vitamins given he.

I don’t know why it seems these things so often happen to me. I took him to HUP Thursday. evening. They called Friday morning to ask me what they could do. They said they wanted to do the facial CT.. I said go ahead… but they didn’t somehow get that. and so it was prolonged until the following Wednesday. They found other things to do to make my bill run up. We think we should do more lab tests, we should really do an ultrasound of his belly and see why some of his liver enzymes are up.. his calcium is too high, maybe we should do an FNA on the nodule on his liver…NO! When they finally did the CAT scan of his face. Guess what…NO TUMOR. However, they did another rhinoscopy and took bx’s of his nasal bone tissue……Large B- cell Lymphoma. And now you know the basic story. I am crying again as I miss my smart little smart…..loving….. purring…… huggy…….. buddy.
I woud have told you two years ago that there is no way I would spend this kind of money on and elderly pet. But then, I didn’t know I would be so enthralled with his personality, I didn’t know that he understood so many things, I didn’t know he was so smart he knew he needed me nd the help of the doctors to keep going on… He understood my love for him, and he knew before I did, it was time for him to go. So I have spent us into great debt more than we can afford over these three years making some bills missed and some later being paid. My husband wondered about bankrupcy, but we would losing the housing for not only us, but the rest of our pets. And besides that, the bills really are my responsibility, not his. So, I thought for all the other cat lovers who know how it is and understand, perhaps you would help me with this final hospital bill that filled up my Care Credit Card, which I paid off once when my elderly aunt died, a blessing in itself, otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten any help, insight, extensed days or answers, for my sweet Samson dear. May he greet me at Heavens gates and ride my shoulders round heaven forevermore.
If you do, I do Thank you forever so much.

PS. I recommend this wonderful book called
“Cold Noses At the Pearly Gates” by Gary Kurz

View Campaign
What is GoFundMe?
GoFundMe is a personal fundraising website that has helped thousands of people raise millions of dollars for the things that matter to them most.
ray-divider.png
This email was sent on behalf of DeEtta Lerch via GoFundMe.
Don’t want these emails?
Unsubscribe
Sent from GoFundMe’s Headquarters:

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!

Very soon now, Thursday Feb 1 st @ 7PM we will begin the next round of 13 weekly seminar series of videos. To reserve a seat please sign up as we only have room for twelve, this keeps it comfortable, easy for all to share & know each other.
email: luvcuddlecats@verizon.net or go to
http://www.DivorceCare.org plug in Pottstown zip code 19464, search for DivorceCare on the Sunporch or tell folks to go to go to FB search @Sacrificed4Selfishness and email from there!

There are videos here that I that I am not sure if they copied over to FB page or not. Which ever sight works, send anyone in need to the page!  Thank you I am sure all will be glad to learn more about this National Organization of DivorceCare.  Hope to hear from all who want to come soon!    Rick & DeEtta   A workbook will cost you $20.00, please come prepared!

 

 

Stop Vomiting on People by Leslie Vernick 

 

These days we are influenced by a culture of talk and tweets. We’re told to express our feelings, hold nothing back. We’ve all seen in national news how people’s unrestrained talk and tweets get them into public hot water. Every day I see the relational fallout that comes from thoughtless, foolish, deceitful, and cruel words.

But there are times we ought to keep our negative thoughts and emotions to ourselves and refuse to give them a voice. The Bible warns us that our tongue can be a mighty weapon, for good and for evil. (James 3:6-10). Proverbs says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18). We can damage a person’s spirit, family, or reputation by blurting out negative thoughts and feelings without any thought or prayer. Yes, it might temporarily help you feel better when you’re mad or hurt to blurt them out, but I liken blurting to vomit. It does feel better to get vomit out, but vomit belongs in the toilet and not on another person.

It’s not only good for the other person that you learn not to blurt your negative thoughts and feelings during moments of great intensity. It is also good for you.

Proverbs 21:23 says, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”

Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”

1 Peter 3:10 says, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.”

Imagine how much better you would feel if you weren’t always complaining or critical of something wrong in your life? How would your relationships be improved if the people in your life weren’t wary of your reckless or deceitful words? How different would you feel about yourself if you weren’t so captured by your own negative feelings and thoughts?

Here are three things you can do to stop blurting.

  1. Decide: No matter how negatively you feel, make a conscious decision that you will not vomit your toxic emotions out on others. (Don’t get me wrong – you may have to speak some hard words at times, but hard words need not be harsh words). The psalmist determined, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence” (Psalm 39:1).
  2. Acknowledge the struggle: In Psalm 39 despite his vow to keep silent, the psalmist found keeping quiet tough. Silence didn’t bring the psalmist satisfaction but more anguish (see verses 2 and 3). During a time of anguish and temptation, write a no-send letter venting out your feelings or praying them out to God until you can get a better perspective and calm down.
  3. Remember the big picture:It’s crucial that you understand that YOU are much more than your temporal thoughts and feelings. We all have negative thoughts and feelings but it’s important to not allow them to have us. Instead of getting stuck in your mood or negative thoughts, remind yourself that you are more than your feelings and you will have to give an account to God for how you handled yourself during times of adversity. Remember your goal (I don’t want to vomit on people), your deeper desires (I want to be a godly person, or I don’t want to have regrets later) or your core values (I want to treat people as I would like to be treated). This practice helps us develop the muscle of restraint and self-control so that we don’t become a slave to our emotions.

Dietrich Bonheoffer said, “Often we combat our evil thoughts most effectively if we absolutely refuse to allow them to be expressed in words…It must be a decisive rule of every Christian fellowship that each individual is prohibited from saying much that occurs to him.”

Decide today that you will no longer let your negative feelings get the best of you and hurt other people.